Why You Need To Use The Remain Dating App If You’re Single And Heartbroken About Brexit
28th January 2015
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Brexit has divided the nation. Parents and children unable to sit around the dinner table, Boris and Dave unable to share a pint.
Now while dating apps might not consider themselves a hotbed of political debate, it seems fair to assume no one in the Remain camp wants to arrange to go for cocktails with someone who believes that Nigel Farage should make himself at home at Downing Street.
This is where the Remain Dating app comes in. Exclusively for those who wanted to stay within the European Union to enjoy its bounty of croissants and protected maternity pay rights.
So here are the benefits of using the Remain app:
1. There’s no chance of being matched with Boris Johnson.
2. There’s a high probability that your partner will love brie, Champagne and other European delights.
3. You can be smug and ride your political high horse together.
4. They can be a shoulder to cry on when the pound crashes to a 30-year-low.
5. There’s a high chance they’ll be really good at writing lengthy (if not slightly tedious) political statuses on Facebook.
6. You know they were into the UK’s AAA credit rating, which is now a distant memory.
7. They are less likely to be swayed by rhetoric of racism and xenophobia.
8. They are probably spending this week heartbroken and are therefore more likely to be swayed into Netflix and chill.
9. You won’t have to use the phrase “I told you so” when immigration figures aren’t reduced by leaving the EU.